One of the biggest, if not THE biggest obstacle people face on their way to performing with excellence, delivering extraordinary value and becoming irresistible is self-defeating behavior. Negative thoughts, blaming one’s self or giving up can be an easy place to go when things don’t work in your favor. Whether the behaviors and words are directed inward or outward, it's a reactive form of blame.
What Is It? Negative self talk often includes phrases that make you feel that you're not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, talented enough, confident enough or in countless ways, enough to be a success. Though this is an inaccurate and unfair assessment of your situation, this negative self-talk, or “inner critic” is very real and should be recognized as such. Everyone has an inner critic. It's simply a fact of our psychological wiring. But the negative self-talk can be thoughtfully managed and either serve to make you bitter or make you better.
What's The Truth? Being better begins with having a good relationship with your inner critic. Recognizing that the words that you hear are not an accurate description of who you are, but rather a challenge to who you can be. Listening for the wisdom and opportunities for growth in negative self-talk is a characteristic of a high-achiever. Nick left his little developing country to reside permanently in the United States. He recalls sitting on the plane, gripped with fear and anxiety, as it got ready to taxi down the runway and take him on his stressful journey to an unknown land. As the plane taxied, he imagined the impracticality of ever feeling at home there, or being allowed to lead others there, or accomplish all he had ever dreamt of achieving in the country of his birth. How could it possibly happen? After all, he wasn't born there and shouldn't expect much access to the resources and people that were integral to building successful careers, businesses and financial security. That's when he recognized that the message he was receiving was flawed and false. It was a dangerous lie. It was a message that conjured up images of darkness and despair, lack and poverty. In an instant, he decided he would refuse to accept it. Because nothing about those thoughts fueled optimism, joy or successful living. Instead, he resolved that he was a citizen of the universe. No one could claim to be more entitled to its abundance than he was. Because no one ever has determined the place of their birth, and any semblance of preferred access is a misrepresentation of reality. In that moment, he engaged in positive self-talk and affirmed to himself, "I am a child of the universe and fortunate to be wherever I am and who I am. I contribute all that I have, all that I know, and all that I am, and I am rewarded fully and completely." Nick's positive self-talk reshaped his expectations, his actions and his results. He rose to leadership positions with his employers, started and built multiple companies and became a millionaire, all within three decades.
Where To Go? All great journeys have started with a single step. Today's first step is recognizing that negative self-talk can either hold you back or propel you forward. It's your choice. You can be your very best, and become irresistible and financially invincible. And like many who have paved the way before you, know that it involves managing your inner critic. Now it's your turn. Listen, learn then leap. What falsehoods do you hear challenging you to become a better version of yourself? And how will you rephrase them so they empower and serve you?
Are you ready to answer the call? My desire is to help you be a high-achiever, become increasingly irresistible and financially invincible. Together, through intentional and achievable steps, we can make your future bright, build your wealth and give you the freedom you deserve. Today is your day to take that first step. Contact me here.